CLASS 2: REVIEW & ASSESSMENT + attendance sheet

HW 1 DUE TODAY by midnight : Goldmines


1)   Sample 100 topics  vs Narrowing lesson and creating your own

2)   Some (calendar dates) extra credit opportunities (eg CLASI)

3)   ID#’s vs attendance sheet + sign you read syllabus


4)   Creative vs Expository


5)   What is a thesis / argumentative thesis







*Assessment Essay:

Remember: this is for assessment – does NOT count towards your grade.


If your essay were graded as an A, you get +2 points of extra credit.

If your essay were graded as a B, you get +1 points of extra credit.

Anything else will disappear.

As a ¾ page to no more than 1 page essay, using citations if you know what they are, answer the following question using the source handout:


What are the benefits and problems of using artificial skin for scientific testing?




intro (no quote or counts as ‘extra’ quote)

Argument 1: Benefit or Problem (w/ 1 quote , with attribution to the source [the magazine title or magazine article author) not just ‘who said’ eg Goldberg – WHY?) MLA

Argument 2: Benefit or Problem (with 1 quote , with attribution to the source [the magazine title or magazine article author) not just ‘who said’ eg Hewitt– WHY?)


Conclusion  (brief closer, no quote, or quote for impact not evidence)





Real paper?  Minimum 2 quotes per argument:



**Discuss PAPER DESCRIPTION and 100 SAMPLE TOPICS (remember you can create your own using narrowing process in next class) MAJOR PAPERS & RUBRIC (HANDOUT)



***CLASI:  (extra cred)  You will get a completion form as proof of completion
(+1 pt for up to 2 attended [only 1 online for EC points only])



Extra Credit possibilities and penalties:

It is possible to get extra credit points towards replacement of final exam!

*Takes 7 points to buy replacement of final exam–score of final replaced depends on final tally of extra credit points;

7 points = 90/A

10 points = 93/A

13 points = 96/A

8 points = 91/A

11 points = 94/A

14 points = 97/A

9 points = 92/A

12 points = 95/A

15 points = 98/A


*Negative points are penalties and apply to paper grade if not covered by points;

HOW TO GET EXTRA CREDIT POINTS:  (There are also activities discussed in class that change each semester)

0)Clasi extra credits

0, +1, +2

1) In-Class Group Paper 0, Death Penalty

0, +1, +2

2)In-Class Group Grade sample paper 1

+3(exact), +2(within 3), +1(within 6)

3)Don’t submit anything for paper 1 draft 1 at all or

   Don’t show up/don’t hand in at least 1 peer editing report on someone’s paper 1draft1


4)Visit to Writing Center

+1 to +2 (one credited per paper)

5)In-Class Group Grade sample paper 2

+3(exact), +2(within 3), +1(within 6)

6)Credibility exercise/lesson


7)Class Assessment survey


8)Don’t submit anything for paper 1 draft 1 at all or

   Don’t show up/don’t hand in at least 1 peer editing report on someone’s paper2draft1





CREATIVE ESSAY  “I’m Special”                    vs            EXPOSITORY ESSAY
ENG101                                                                           ENG102

Creative Composition

Argumentative research

“I” believe/ “I” feel / “I” Think

“Facts show” [never/rarely use I except maybe in conclusion and intro] – confident universal statements




Creative examples

Expert knowledge w/ quotes & citations

Listed personal experience, details of your life and beliefs as source

3rd party identified and listed sources, detailed explanations quoted from outside sources

Purpose: Use writing skills to entertain

Purpose: to convince someone w/ an open mind

Fun and funny and/or moving to readers

Removed voice

Creative & drama

Critical thinking

Argue what you feel

Argue what you can prove




Visual Anatomy of a ENG102 paper (drawing)



Thesis: your paper’s topic, as a sentence.  NEVER A QUESTION if your thesis is an argumentative thesis.   Your papers will not be just informative.



WHAT IS AN Argumentative THESIS? A single sentence summary of an argument you are going to make or point of view you are going to take.



BAD: Could drinking tap water in former Arizona industrial lands increase risk of cancer?

BETTER:Drinking tap water from former Arizona industrial lands will increase risk of cancer.


2)SOMEONE CAN DISAGREE WITH YOU/ TAKE THE OPPOSITE SIDE, otherwise it’s not argumentative.

BAD:  Plastic Surgery in teenagers.

BETTER:Plastic surgery in teenagers is a growing trend caused by peer and media image pressure


BAD: Preparing a car to win a street race.

BETTER:Chip modification is the most important way to prepare a car for a street race. 


BAD: Misdiagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder

BETTER: Misdiagnosis of Attention Deficit Disorder is leading to overmedication of school age children.


3)NARROWED TO MATCH AUDIENCE  (See narrowing lesson)


4) TAKES A SIDE FIRMLY, NOT JUST uses weak words like “possibly, sometimes, might, could, etc”

BAD:  Video games might increase violence in pre-teens.

BETTER: Video games increase violence in pre-teens.


BAD: Sometimes it is possible to use supplements to win bodybuilding contests.

BETTER: Supplements are now a necessity in order to win bodybuilding contests.




For example: If your approved thesis is:

Grappling is the most effective mixed martial arts technique in  Ultimate Fighting competitions


You must compare it to all other major techniques, and discuss it for defense, offense and counter moves….


MORE SPECIFIC means less to cover:  Grappling is the most effective mixed martial arts technique for dealing with reach-based attack styles in  Ultimate Fighting competitions




If you can't find any possible opposite/opposing point of view to your argument, you probably don't have a thesis in argumentative form.  For 1st paper need 1 counter with 2 quotes from 2 different sources.  For final paper need 2 counters with 2 quotes from 2 different sources.






1)WRONG:  Effects of nerve gas on soldiers who survive chemical attacks

OK but weak: Nerve gas has negative effects on soldiers who survive chemical attacks

OK/ARGUMENTATIVE FORM:  Nerve gas exposure continues to harm the health of survivors long after the attack


 2)WRONG:  Problems in treating Alzheimers’ patients

OK but weak: There are problems in treating Alzheimers’ patients

OK/ARGUMENTATIVE FORM:  Alzheimers victims in nursing homes face more severe problems than those who receive home care.




3)WRONG:  Robots and the car industry in the United States



4) WRONG:  Gambling and corruption at the Wild Horse Pass Casino







II. WHAT does an argumentative paragraph look like?

*Each content paragraph in an argumentative paper is TPEO or TPEOEO or TPEOEOEO


Topic Sentence: one sentence in EACH paragraph – what the paragraph is about or paper’s subtopic – in an argumentative paper: a specific argument under paper’s thesis.


Point: In your own words, how the topic sentence/subtopic/this paragraph is important to, argues for the paper’s thesis.  ‘Point’ is necessary in paragraph to prevent lack of clarity or misinterpretation by audience different POV


Evidence or Example: one of TWO quotes or paraphrased details and expert knowledge from an outside source that supports your paragraph’s topic sentences.  ALWAYS with a citation


Optional explanation of Evidence: in your own words, commentary or how the evidence you quoted is important or supports your topic sentence and/or your paper thesis.  Not always required if your evidence (quote) is straightforward.




Thesis: Adopting the aluminum bat instead of the wood bat in amateur baseball fundamentally changes the game.


 YELLOW:  T        BLUE: P        grey  =E(vidence/xpert knowledge)      

green: Optional comment


Safety issues on the playing field increase immensely when aluminum bats are present.  In any competitive sport, no one wants anyone to get hurt.  Unfortunately aluminum bats increase the risk in baseball.  Teams across the country are beginning to return to the traditional wood bat; one of those teams is the Wellesley Raiders.  Eric Winer, president of the Wellesley American Little League, said in the July issue of Greater Boston Magazine, “We had an incident last year…when one of our top pitchers, Billy Hughto, got struck by a line drive of a metal batted ball and was out for the season” (22).  This incident easily helped Eric Winer make the decision to switch from aluminum to wood.  Winer was not alone in making the safety choice: “The Millburn Mullvers tried aluminum bats, but quickly switched back after a line drive broke the hand of the first baseman despite gloves.  This kind of line drive with wood bats had never led to an injury” (“Millburn Mullvers website”).











III. NEXT TUESDAY: Assessment ESSAY: Straight forward








‘training paper’ of TPEOEO arguments    FIRST EXTRA CREDIT ACTIVITY!!!!!



2)Each group must pic from list of 23 possible arguments 
    a)The two weakest for their side  (for their side, but would not use because poor arguments)
    b)Pick the 3 BEST arguments from list for their side

3)IMPT: FIND from big list of quotes (a-Z4) 2 quote MATCHES for each of your 3 best arguments for your side


4)IMPT: WRITE ***ONE*** paragraph in TPEOEO format from you 3 best arguments.  JUST ONE!




Your team is assigned to argue __AGAINST any application of the death penalty.

GROUP # ___________                   Members Present:  (print names)


_____________________________                            _________________________________


_____________________________                            _________________________________  



·         PART ONE: The Activity: Agree on/Choose the 3 best/strongest arguments for your side
Next, For each argument, match the two best quotes from the sources handout in support


Choice 1: _#_______________________________________________________________


                 Best quote is LETTER# ___________


                 Best quote is LETTER# ___________



Choice 2: _#_______________________________________________________________


                 Best quote is LETTER# ___________


                 Best quote is LETTER# ___________



Choice 3: _#_______________________________________________________________


                 Best quote is LETTER# ___________


                 Best quote is LETTER# ___________                




·         PART TWO: Identify the two weakest arguments you could use supporting an end to the death penalty (bad choices)from the list and briefly (1-2 sentences) explain why they’re weak.


weakest:      _#_______________________________________________________________


     why? _____________________________________________________________________





2nd weakest: _#_______________________________________________________________


     why? _____________________________________________________________________




·          PART THREE:  On the back: As a group, decide on one argument and evidence and write as a TPEOEO (TPEE) paragraph.  Make sure to trim the quotes/evidence to 3 lines or less!  Give a citation (not graded on MLA..yet). 





COMPLETE 1-4 above correctly?  Your group gets 1 pt of extra credit!


If ANY GROUP LISTS AS THEIR 3 CHOICES any of the WEAKEST for their sides: group loses 1 pt of EC!

IF YOU HAVE BOTH WEAKEST?  Each group member loses 2 pts of extra credit!!!!


BEST TPEOEO paragrarph for each side (For quick death penalty or Against)?  GETS ADDITIONAL pt of extra credit!!!





For example, what is the Difference between these thesis:

“Fast food is a main contributor to the obesity problem in the US” vs

What can you cover?  What can’t you cover?

“Fast food is the cause of the obesity problem in the US” vs

What can you cover?  What can’t you cover?

“The fast food industry is a major cause of the obesity problem in the US” vs

What can you cover?  What can’t you cover?

“Bad Nutrition is the main reason for the growing obesity problem in the US”

What can you cover?  What can’t you cover?

For each above, can you use below as arguments?:

1)Happy meals reward kids with toys for eating fast food

2)Fat content of most pre-frozen food is higher than fresher foods in order to retain taste

3Food chemicals and additives are known to affect the metabolism, usually slowing it down

4)Advertising targeting children airs heavily on most kid channels such as Nickelodeon

5)Fast Food is cheap

6)Frozen microwaveable meals are notoriously low in nutritional value

7) Portion size is out of control compared to meal portion size from the 1950’s.


What does a basic argumentative paper look like?   (pic on board)

Sample paper 1:

Sample Feedback for an F, C, A paper:



By nature of being argumentative,

there must exist opposite or opposing points of view.


Ask this question as a test of whether your thesis is in argumentative form:









2)   CRACKING THE TIMED ESSAY and SOCRAPR for cracking the timed or ‘I have no idea’ artistic quality/’how does’ essay




III.  Cracking the Essay: maximizing the points in a timed essay.


Psych portion of Police captain’s test (proposed/rejected 2002):  <a page describing incidents in the last year at Precinct 22, including two fatal shootings of officers responding to incidents, including media coverage and indictment of 5 officers and 2 detectives in a drug dealer protection scheme, low morale, and hostile neighborhood.>


If you are being transferred to this precinct, is it better to enter with a reputation of being feared or being respected?  Explain why, using personal example and strategic procedure.



70-100 Microsoft exam example. (can cover 1250 pages of study materials)

You are a database developer for an online retailer.  Each customer is tracked by ip, to create business intelligence tracks for ‘browser’ type customers, along with standard cookie deployment for those preparing an order.   <Click to see schema and exhibit of existing methodology in flow chart and pseudo code>.  BI division reports an increase in failed attempts to buy from customers using mobile devices without stateful cookie objects.  Customer Support confirms this.   You are tasked with looking at and recommending from several competing choices in scripts (1 internal, 3 commercial products) to simulate cookies with stateful objects and allow mobile users to shop with no further problems immediately. 


Choose a script (CLICK exhibits to see each proposal and summary) to recommend and justify a best choice, with at least 2 reasons per strategy action group (purchasing, sales, development, etc).



What are the benefits and problems of using artificial skin?


Procedure for breaking down a direct question essay

(what is, who is, when, why, where)*

Sample Question: What are the benefits and problems of Using Artificial Skin for Scientific Testing


1) Always read the Question FIRST. Circle the thing(s) the assignment wants you to find or answer.


[Would you circle Artificial skin? Is the question asking you to find Artificial skin? NO. Same for Scientific Testing. What the question *IS* asking you to find are the benefits AND the problems. Circle the words 'benefits' and 'problems']


2) Write those terms on a scrap section of your paper (eg on the back of the paper, write 'benefits', skip some space, then write 'problems' and underline both).   If the terms aren’t clear, write next to it in your own words


3)Go back and re-read the question. [The circled items will attain 'cognitive focus': subconsciously become things you look for -- eg if you are simply looking at people crossing the street, you may/may not notice someone with a red dress. But if you think 'red dress' and then look, your mind will focus on scanning for the red dress, consciously or subconsciously].


3A) If you are an average or fast reader, read the text then go to step 4. 
3B)If you are a slow reader, as you read the text, underline every important section of the text dealing with what the question wants you to find ('benefits' and 'problems').


4) From the text (or parts of text you underline in 3B), find/write down the answer or EVIDENCE to each term as you find it, in the form of some buzz words or summary you will remember.

For example:


Benefits                                                                                               Problems


-ethical-no animals                                                                        -what about info from organs working together?

-scientific-reproduce results easily-no variation w/diff animals

-cheaper than human trials

-screen humans for best candidates


You could logically "think" up/extrapolate more reasons (for example, problem could be that lawyers could sue if the "patches" of artifical skin tissue was not broad enough genetically and ethnically), but on an essay question, at minimum, use what the text gives you.

NOTE: doing step 4 above can help you if you are running out of time! If you are almost at "pencils down," quickly write "out of time - ideas on back" at bottom of paper. Sometimes you may get partial credit for finding the answers even if you didn't have time to write up the essay to completion.



5) Work on an intro (see types of introduction handout later in the course)/ Put your brainstormed idea into a thesis form


6) Order the list of your examples on the back: write #1 next to the ones with most evidence/strongest case/that you understand best, down to the least evidence/weakest case/reason you understand least. Choose as many as a)the assignment requests (for example, 'in 5 paragraphs including intro and conclusion...' you would do 2 benefits and 1

problem); OR

b) as time allows (with at minimum 1 benefit and 1 problem); OR

c) the standard 2-3 pieces of evidence per topic/question asked.
START writing! Use direct quotes from the text as "Evidence" in answering the question(s), when possible.



7)Make a concluding paragraph that restates how your points support your thesis.

Procedure for breaking down an artistic or Stylistic “How Does” question (usually asks ‘how’)

A stylistic quality question is different from a direct question essay in the sense that you are being asked to discuss artistically rather than analyze or answer; or are asked about a specific style or artistic TECHNIQUE: “how does” the artist/business person do something/achieve an effect specifically.  You have to be careful to discuss specific techniques or patterns, not the “what is,” in a stylistic quality question.     The ‘assrro’ acronym example


Here are some examples of a stylistic quality questions and the way many WRONGLY answer them:

1)How does Faulkner create a setting of nostalgia?

[If you answered, Faulkner’s novels are full of nostalgia for the old South, for example…you would  NOT be answering the question]


2)How does Monet’s paintings use color to fit within the impressionistic style?

[If you answered, Monet’s paintings are bright and full of pastel colors and…, you would NOT be answering the question]


3) How does IBM successfully market to the professional woman??

[If answered, IBM targets women who want a portable powerful computer you would NOT be answering the question]


4) How does a successful retail manager increase the energy level of floor salespeople?  [If answered, A successful retail manager must be a leader instead of just a boss, you would NOT be answering the question]


5) How does author XXXX  set the mood in his short story….?

[If you answered, The author sets a dark mood of depression and tragedy, you would NOT be answering the question, you have identified the mood]



1) Follow STEPS 1-3 for a direct question, standard essay


4) If you know enough about the author, art, movement, writing, etc, to discuss the technique and answer the question with specifics, GO FOR IT, then follow STEPS 5-7 for a direct question/standard essay.  


5) IF YOU DON’T KNOW SPECIFIC “HOW DOES” or don’t have time for the artistic view, you can use the generic toolbox of patterns/ starter categories for artistic essays below: SOCRAPR.  These will allow you to quickly start an artistic essay in a time-limited setting.  SOCRAPR:

a) Similarities in the text/painting/musical piece

          b) Opposites  (For example, funeral and birthday, hopelessness and bliss, etc)

          c) Contrasts (bright settings with people painted in dark colors, talking about toys while bombs are exploding,etc)

d) Repetitions  (same words or sounds used, same scenes or behavior reoccurring, etc)

e) Author (something signature or biographical to the author)

f) Parallels (same thing happening to A and B, what has happened to A reflected in what’s happening to B (For example, in a story about confusion how the language parallels the content by not using punctuation)

          g) Relationships (For example Father and Son heroes vs father and son villains in a story, the family dynamic between parent and teenagers as model for boss/worker)


Here are some examples of how you WOULD answer the 5 sample questions above, using the SOCRAPR patterns:

1) Faulkner creates a setting of nostalgia by repeatedly showing the old guides and hunters recalling their adventures, intercut with scenes of urban sprawl and new tombstones added at the cemetery.


2) Monet contrasts bright natural blues and greens with out of focus white and black to…etc.  He next contrasts….


3) IBM successfully markets to the professional woman in exactly the opposite way from the makeup companies strategies: treat the woman as independent, not wanting to fit into the mainstream, and seeking self satisfaction, not that of others.


4) A retail manager increases the energy level of floor salespeople by following the relationship model of parent with multiple competing children: motivate quietly, reward privately to prevent envy/non coolness peer pressure, and make each think that they are the favorite as long as they are not whiny or slacking off.


5) The author sets the dark mood of the story in the way that has become signature to his style: by having the world suddenly reflecting the inner feelings of the broken hero: the sky suddenly darkens, wind ‘breaks apart the skeletons of dying trees,’ and ‘the clouds cry for a few minutes, then move on, breaking into nothingness.’




Similarities, Opposites, Contrasts, Repetition, Author, Parallels, Relationships


1) “As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from an uneasy dream he found himself transformed into a gigantic insect.”

Q: How does the author foreshadow that the story to follow is going to be concerned with conflict and change?


Contrast: wakes up (peaceful sleep) to a "nightmare"

contrast: awoke one ordinary morning (like any other morning, not "awoke one terrible morning") to something extraordinary (he's now a giant bug)

opposites: man vs insect, insect vs gigantic insect



2) “Damp and grotesque, climbing down to the pits, each step was dewy, almost slimy.  The stairs were damp, jagged, like an old man's mouth driveling beyond repair. “

Q: In this description of a stairwell, how does the author use language to fuel the impression of it leading to ancient horror?


a)Author typically uses anthropocentric metaphor - old man's mouth driveling suggest disease or age near death

b)Repeats words for wet: damp, dewy, driveling, suggesting anyone could slip.  Cthulhu ancient like horror.

c)uses similar words that have to do with disgust: slimy, grotesque, driveling





3)Q: In the Matrix, how does the author show the mind world as fantastically different from the body's reality, yet still understandable in human terms?


a) opposites: in body reality, the matrix people have to follow gravity and laws of physics.  in mind world, once the imagination has been trained to forget physics, anything can be done.

b)contrast: mind world is ideal, so have thousand dollars worth of clothing while in the body reality they wear rags; in mind world the rich feast on steak, in body reality they eat gruel

c) repetition of human ideal SIM model objects: in mind world, for those who are aware, hair is perfect, clothes are perfect, moves are perfect, recovery from wounds leaves no scars.

d) Larry W. author rumored to have had sex change: Agent smiths all look similar, but main is different; All the viruses in the Matrix world are at least part time humans -- the werewolves, ghosts, etc.  To allow the viewer to see the story as human characters in action.



4)Q:How does shakespeare create a greater sense of tragedy in Hamlet?

a) Relationships: Death and murder, with all the main characters related -- Father and Son, Father and Daughter, Son and Mother.


b) Similarities: poison kills the good and the evil and the vengeful; the play within the play


c) Contrasts: hamlet pretends to be insane but drives his beloved insane for real with his pretending


d) Repetition: Hamlet fails to act directly several times at the near cost and finally cost of his life


e) Parallelism: Poison kills the father, the son, the mother, the father-in-law, and almost brother-in-law.